So far I have attempted the following methods for assisting the creation of this presentation:
Reading things other people have said – this means I have a set of statements I agree or disagree with and may or may not have evidence or arguments for holding these positions. Most of the things I agree with, will be congruent to the statements I already hold to be true.
Mind Map – What is it I want to say? A rough linear or parallel drawing showing the connections between ideas or tracing their epistemology.
A non critical, say everything without censorship essay (6 pages unfinished)
A beginning of the essay which would form the presentation (4 pages, unfinished – descended into questions and ideas to look at in more detail see above)
A Powerpoint presentation, it was hoped this more visual and ‘one thing at a time’ way of representing would help focus the narrative I need to create (14 pages, unfinished, mostly more unanswered questions)
A series of digital post it notes – hoped this would help ‘order’ ideas whilst allowing me somewhere to put them as they floated right to left sides of the brain…. worried that again they mostly have questions not answers and the range of topics and ideas is vast yet so interrelated I’m not sure which ones to cut at the expense of the others.
Plan going forward:
Being aware that there are two main ways of thinking occurring which need evidencing:
PaR thinking – eg how what I did is research. This is a sort of evidence based evidencing, eg I didn’t sit on a train making notes, I was engaged in a process of ehtnography
Creative Thinking – eg: I discovered that in writing this happened so I did this to see if it would help to improve the performance.
Also Performative moments aren’t written, so I’ve got to keep a section of my brain alert to ways of articulating that aren’t written and are better shown.
It feels like talking about what I did to make the work and talking about what I did using research languages, whilst also arguing for these ways of expression to support the work as research and the associated knowledges around knowledge in this context.
I am going to write what I did that I think was of interest – including writing in ‘my’ style.
I’m going to find evidence of this in documentation
I’m going to translate some of it into PaR speak and talk about why I might do that
I’m going to try and find clever visual images that support the words
I’m going to edit & refine & rehearse.
I will be performing ‘Left Luggage’ for a second time on May 20th as part of Create ’11 Festival at York St John University.
It was very well received the first time around, its quite probably worth a watch, it is free after all and there’s other stuff to watch before and after what with it being a festival and all!
Hope to see you there!
This is no more rigourous than performance making, sensing the whole, having to focus on the part. But which part?
Choosing to present an argument is a little like being asked to re-paint from memory a large scale landscape picture on a postage stamp and also to change it a bit in accordance with your own ideas, whilst adopting a style that you hope and assume will please the people marking it.
As I begin the endless wandering through one firing thought to the next in attempting to hone in on the key points I’d like to make about the assignment set, learning about PAR, creating a blog and attempting to frame and construct the work which became ‘Left Luggage’ in this context I am struck by the similarity of feeling about the ideas I want to communicate in academic presentation and performance.
They’re over there somewhere, I can hold a few of them for a second, I can feel their weight and begin to pick out their connections but I can’t articulate them yet. There’s a fear I’ll miss the point, I’ll forget something important, I’m scribbling triggers and questions down on scraps of paper like I scribble down images and sentences.
Should I be documenting this process too?
‘…our little group has always been and always will until the end….’
feeling very scared. I’ve a pretty big critic shouting my every move down at the moment.
okay good – so don’t try and make anything that’s ‘perfect’. Try to remember that this can be fun, this isn’t horrible work this is your work. This can be enjoyable.
I feel like the finished piece is just around the corner, only there’s a roadblock and a traffic jam and its raining heavily and I’m not wearing any shoes.
Go into studio and try pieces out as is so far-ish:
In my head there’s a structure, my instinct is that for today it may be best to ignore that and focus on getting to the truths that need to be told and getting the language and sentiment that I want to convey right. ‘Instinct’ – decision is based on the rationale that understanding intent and purpose is better at this stage that form and shape which in any case may need to be edited if I got that ‘right’ first and the intents then changed the requirements of the structure.
Stop over complicating. Stop worrying that its all empty and shit. Stop comparing yourself to others. Enjoy getting it ‘wrong’ – its called process. Tell your critic to shut up for a few hours – everything will be brilliant, even the stuff that you know is shit otherwise you won’t find what you need.
Try out the guitar.
Try out silences.
Try out everything.